Idea Slut

I have always been an idea slut; drunkenly passed around from one idea to the next. That’s not to say that I am an immoral person unable to have a monogamous relationship with the right idea. In fact it is the opposite; I am desperately seeking the ideal idea. So many ideas out there appear stunning, mysterious and reek of adventure. Causing me to immediately fall head-over-heels and hopelessly in love. But then, after you completely open up and allow yourself to commit, to dream of that perfect future with your glorious idea and all of the amazing little ideas the two of you will bring forth and nurture together, the idea changes. I swear it isn’t me. It’s them (the idea's). I am not a commita-phobe and I am not trying to be an idea slut either (because there is always a chance that an idea might have a imaginatively transmitted disease (ITD) and could possibly contaminate future ideas). 

All ideas, it seems, turn out to be something completely different then the picture they gave you while they were courting you. They come along and romance you, inspire you, give you that feeling in the pit of your stomach whenever you think about them and all the joy they will bring you: Wealth, admiration, happiness and the ability to smugly laugh at those who have never had an idea as good as yours. And then not 10 months into the relationship their façade starts to crack and you begin to see their ugly centers. Like being introduced to your fiancées blank faced banjo-playing relatives who’s eyes all seem to be slightly too far apart and the same exact color. Vasectomy, Abstinence or children of the corn? I have no choice – I have to bail!

This has been the story of my life. And it is not fair. My best friend, on the other hand, is an idea whore. Continuously making money from all of the ideas that he expertly seduces and then discards like pieces of corporate trash when he has had his way with them. I cannot act that way though because as I said before, I am a romantic. Lately though, it has become so bad that my smug friends, who are all currently in long term profitable relationships with their ideas, are now giving me advice or trying to set me up with “an old, but very attractive” idea of theirs or a new idea that they just met and are positive “would be perfect for me!” Second hand ideas! Ideas that are obviously not good enough for them! Really? How have I sunken so low?

I have recently found a new idea and have been dancing around a possible relationship: Writing this Blog. I am not sure that we (the Blog and I) are a good match though. This might be because I have been so badly hurt in the past. Or, because I lack the needed skills to write proficiently. But, is it safe to dream though? Is it safe to scribble my most intimate (but still somehow extremely shallow) dreams in a public forum for strangers, and even worse, the people that know me to read at their leisure? Is this my Parris Hilton home porn video (made fun-of, but repeatedly watched in private) or my David Hasselhoff eating a cheeseburger moment (made fun-of and repeatedly watched in with friends)? Or I guess it could be like the Parris Hilton eating a cheeseburger commercial; still just a disgusting display of drunken shame, greasy meat and a messy face, but lacking all the entertainment value of the first two? Whatever.

Thank you for stopping by.

You can go find the Parris Hilton video now.