Cancer update 3
Hi and welcome to the third
installment of the third most popular way to find out about my health status.
That is correct; this is the critically acclaimed and highly anticipated
segment of this blog: Cancer Update.
If you have not read this segment before, you are missing out and are in
for an amazing treat. This segment is the intellectual equivalent of
breast-feeding your mind, and it should be your primary source of nutritional
information, but only if you would like your mind to grow-up big and strong
with actual facts. Otherwise you can always get your information from the two
leading outlets: My mom and my wife. Be forewarned though, that yes, all their
information might be derived from actual facts, and yes, from obsessively
studying all the available information that they can get their hands on, and
okay yes, they actually listen to the doctors when they’re speaking to us
instead of making jokes and using all the time the doctors are speaking to
formulate convincing arguments as to why they do not need seizure medications
and that they should be given a prescription for one of those cool robot legs
that would allow them to run like the wind, look like a rad super hero or at
the very least, be able to kick small kids and squirrelly animals that always
scurry in their way and trip them. But, can either of them give you the status
of my condition in a way that leaves you with feelings of indifference and
slight amusement? I have talked to them both in great length of my condition
and I can tell you from experience that no, they cannot – they are both
complete bummers and should be avoided as a source of news about my health.
That is unless you wanted to be bummed-out, of course.
The Update: I am increasingly
losing more function and sense of my right side due to an indeterminate mass
that is growing in my noggin. The panel of neuro oncologists are split 50/50 on
whether the growth is due to a mutation of the tumor that is beginning to
branch out and spread or if the mass is actually delayed narcosis from the
radiation treatments. If you are thinking that this scenario does not sound
that different from the last Cancer Update… Well, that is kinda how it goes –
get used to it.
The takeaway? No matter how
eloquently or passionately I argue my case, they will most likely keep denying
me that cool robot leg that I want and I will have to drag this crappy
semi-detached Franken-foot for the rest of my life. Cheers.
Post Script.
My mom read my latest blog (this
one) and has informed me that (1) Nobody cares about the stupid robot leg thing
and (2) the description of my current condition was lacking. I needed to
include that there is a panel of specialists meeting this Friday to discuss the
appropriate action to take.
And the choices are: Have a virus
coded with its very own deoxyribonucleic acid implanted in my brain tumor via a
large needle inserted through my skull. I would then take a kind of
antiviral-chemotherapy that would hopefully target the tumor and leave the rest
of me alone. It is experimental and I would only be the 7th person
on the study at the Moore’s Cancer Center.
-Or-
Go back on Temodar (chemotherapy)
for brain tumors. Which is the rat poison that I was on last year.
-Or-
Start Avastin: A type of
chemotherapy that is pumped through a permanent stint in your chest and does
something or other and probably sucks as well.
Cheers.
hi I work your brother justin. I I was at Moores 5 years ago and have lots of fun with my radiation team. You know how every time you have to give them your name and your birthday. Well, I what to tell them that my name was to Lula McGillicuddy and I was born am august of 1909. . every week it was a different name for a different year and it was fun messing with them. Try get there very good sports and maybe they will remember the patient nancy did this to them 5 years ago. I I wish you the best and keep on truckin. nancy schmidt bartender with your brother.
ReplyDeletehi again. Just just wanted to tell you that stints are great. I had one and it's so much better than having that needle in your arm. After I what is through I have them give it to me as a souvenir. will blog to you again nancy bartender with your brother
ReplyDeleteI would keep fighting for the robot leg and the first of the terrible chemo plans sounds the best to me, but know that I always pick the worst things on any menu and am rarely happy with any decisions I make without the assistance of my wife. This decision was also made without the input of my wife. Thank you for the update, Justin
ReplyDeleteWhat saves a man is to take a step. Then another step.
C. S. Lewis