Update
time!!!
First,
the exciting news – at least for me: I have finished the first
draft of my book. That's right! I wrote a book.
I am still, with the help of some very intellectual friends and
family members, in the process of editing; but the actual book is
done! That was definitely one thing on my “bucket list.” My
bucket list, by the way, never got all that long. Because every thing happened so fast:
9-days-ago,
I was trying to walk.
8-days-ago,
I was trying speak.
6-days-ago,
I was chasing girls and trying to fit in.
5-days-ago,
I was trying to be a grown-up (actually, that's still very much
ongoing).
3-days-ago,
I found out that I was going to be a Father (by
far the scariest and most exciting thing has that ever happened to
me).
2-days-ago,
they said I was sick.
Then
– only yesterday, I think it
was – they told
me I was dying.
Until
yesterday, I was still just trying to carry my bucket of
responsibilities and did not have time to make a list. So, I did the
next best thing I could think of; post-it-notes. And as it turns out,
one of the very first of the post-it-notes (the bright green one)
said, “write a Book.” Boom! Done! Yep, I did
that one!
The
next post-it-note (the purple one), said something about, “fixing a
hole in bucket?” or “fill this whole bucket?” I am not really
sure. By the time I wrote it, I was on a lot of terrible medications
and also had already lost the use of my writing hand; and the note
was not very legible. Live and learn... Damn, I forgot.
Well,
meanwhile, back at the update (it's usually supposed to say
ranch there – good stuff right there. You can use it after I
buy the ranch, which is
supposed to be a farm.
I suck at idioms, but I'll get over it).
So,
the tumor is growing, my brain is swelling and we are again, trying
to find the treatment of promise.
I
honestly am not sure what I want to say here, or what I should tell
you? What do I want to tell you? I am not really sure what I
am going to tell myself? I guess the good news is that I
still have two – count'em – two different types of chemotherapy.
That is, if this newest, latest and greatest one fails me. I would
tell you the name of this very up-to-the-minute flavor of poison, but
I don't know what it is, nor do I care to learn it!
I
hate leaving anything off on such a low-note, but I have not received
any positive medical news in months; my body is losing more functions
every day, my mind is slipping into some hazy world of confusion and
hell, and my voice and communication abilities are going. This is
probably (hopefully) not the news that anyone was anticipating.
Nevertheless, it is the only news I have available for you – so,
take it or leave it.
I
did, however, write a book. And it
does have a happy ending.
So,
regardless of my longevity, I can always be put me on a shelf in ash and
soul – or, if you
are not going to buy the book, you can just put a post-it-note where
the book should go.
